Whoa....

I was at the gym tonight, trying my hardest to fight the battle of the bulge. While peddling away on the recumbent bike for 40 minutes it was all I could do to keep from staring at the front desk clerk who was eating.a.bag.of.potato.chips.

I know there is no law saying that gym employees can't enjoy a bag of crisps and I'm sure that she wasn't even thinking about her actions.. but deep down, it felt kind of rude. In a taunting kind of way.  I wrapped up my cardio and I kept asking myself why it was bothering me that she was eating chips??  Who really cares? She was  enjoying them. I fully support doing what makes you happy. And then it hit me.

I wanted potato chips.

The front desk clerk had totally Inception-ed me.

Cooking Mama

    I recently made up a chore list. It's printed out and posted on my fridge.  I know some people are probably like... You don't know how to clean yet?  No no, I know HOW to clean... I just get distracted pretty easily.  I'll be cleaning the kitchen, and I'll go into the bedroom and start taking the sheets off the bed before I realize that I wasn't done in the kitchen.  Anyway, I'm happy to say that the Kitchen has never looked better.  I still, however, need to get to the bedroom. haha.

I am interrupting the cleaning to cook dinner. I'm looking up a recipe for sirloin chops.  I have found a recent love for cooking.  During my pregnancy I had something I called "the pregnancy stupids." I was once boiling water for noodles, and it started on fire.  Seriously.... I burned water.   I also screwed up jello... my husband still thinks that is funny. Anyway, I don't know if it's the hormone shift, or if it's the realization that my son needs more nutrition than macaroni and hot dogs, but I've got to understand some basic cooking skills.  I have to stop giggling when I am reading a cook book and it says "dutch oven."  I shouldn't have to look up "how to cut an avocado"... as an adult and a mother... I should KNOW this stuff... right?  aaaahhh, well, I have a few more years to learn before Logan realizes that I'm not the world's best cook.

Please Don't Touch

Andy and I went out with Logan on two separate outings.   Both times, Logan had the same outfit on.  The outfit was a blue shirt and white pants that had airplanes on them.  AIRPLANES. Both times, Logan was mistaken for a girl.  Okay... I could see if he was wearing yellow or green with teddy bears on them, but BLUE with AIRPLANES??!  Wouldn't any reasonable person assume boy??  The lady said, "I thought he was a girl because he had such nice hair."   okay, well, then by that logic, I can assume you are an uneducated leech on society that has never seen one of those new-fangled teeth brushers.  Oh yeah, and please don't touch my child.

We went to the dog park, and this little girl, maybe 5th grade I'm guessing, just comes up and puts her filthy hands all over Logan.  She was probably letting strange dogs lick her dirty hands, playing in the mud, and then she came up and started pinching my babies cheeks, while I was holding him in my arms!!!  I just smiled and walked away, AND SHE FOLLOWED ME! Proceeding to rub her grubby hands up and down my child.  After she left, I took out my hand sanitizer and gave him a mini bath.   Later, Andy took Logan, and she came up AGAIN and started feelin' him up. Seriously... where is your mom?

Okay okay, don't get me wrong. I know that kids get dirty and that dirt and germs are part of life.  But really??? I don't know you. For all I know, you just got done scratching your butt. 

What is it that makes a strange person think it's okay to touch my child?  I thought touching young children that you didn't know was frowned upon in every state.   I smile when I see another person with a baby, or if I'm brave enough, I will go up and talk to the parent and ask how old the baby is.... but I wouldn't DARE stick my hand into a baby carrier and touch someone else's child. 

Sometimes, I feel okay with it.  Once in awhile, like at Kohl's, a little old lady will come up and let Logan hold her finger while she tells him how cute he is.  This doesn't bother me as much... Although perhaps it should... I mean, little old ladies scratch their butts too, right?
Andy says to just smile and laugh it off... It's one of those annoyances anyone with a little baby has to go through. 

Safety First

I have no ambition to clean or work out... Logan got the second round of his vaccines today. He screamed for 2 hours straight! Poor guy, you can see where his leg is sore.  He's now asleep in his chair... but surprisingly, babies screaming in your ears is exhausting.  I'm going to have to get on the cleaning bandwagon though, The doc told me that now is the time I need to get on the floor and baby proof the house.  I look around on the floor and I think... Good lord... My child is going to be eating a lot of dog toys.

I had a county nurse stop by a few times to check on Logan's weight and etc. She took a look around our house and told me all of the ways he could get hurt. According to her, my house is one big death trap for children.  We would pretty much have to gut our house and redo the whole entire thing to make is safe...   I do not recall my parents or friends parents going to such great lengths... Am I crazy? Maybe the newest generation of parents count on methods that don't involve *watching* you children.  Just sit them in a room with a baby gate and leave...  While I do understand the importance of gates, making sure furniture is strapped down, and cupboard locks...  Do I *really* need to erect a wall over my open stairwell to keep my child from climbing over the couch? How about I just teach him to not climb on the couch.

With Liberty and Cupcakes for ALL!

Going home for the 4th weekend. I love going home.  I love seeing how some things never change, and how some things have changed a lot!  We are going to the fireworks in Columbus (a tradition) and to the farmer's market in Madison on Saturday (a must!). My sister's birthday is on the 7th, so I wish she was near.  3 years ago Andy proposed to me at the fireworks in Columbus. It's strange thinking how much has changed---- from my pants size, to my priorities. HaHa funny story. I will never forget that day. I wore the cutest pink capri terry cloth pants and an adorable shirt with a white hoodie. I knew I was looking messycute.  I had gone out and bought a few outfits for this exact weekend because I had a sneaking suspicion that Andy would pop the question. We went to a friends house that weekend (who will remain unnamed) and they were smoking pot. This persons Mom came out and it was obvious she had a cold.  She sat around the fire with us, and then asked her son to pass her the joint because it would make her feel better. Haha. Madicinal purposes.  Still, it amazed me the trust between the mother and son.  I hope to have that same bond (but hope to keep the illegal substances out of it). I came back to the house later that night only to discover that I had SAT in something that resembled tar.... gross I know.   I had JUST bought these cute pants!  My first thought was to call my mom and ask her how to get the stain out... but after comprising the dialouge in my head, I didn't think the conversation would end well....

"Mom, I have some light pink pants with a black tar stain on them... do you have any suggestions to getting it out?"

"Where were you sittin that you got tar on you?"

"A friends firepit."

"What are they doing with tar near a fire pit?"

"....um......building..... a road.....?"

I obviously didn't have the same bonding trust as the formentioned friend.

Needless to say, the pants got tossed after one wear... ONE WEAR!  Thus me living up to my father's joke.... "Kay, most people wash their cloths, not buy new ones everyday."

So... this year, a little older and a little wiser... I'm going to look before I sit. 

Being a Mother Changes Thigns

I've noticed a few changes that I have gone through since becoming a mom. I decided to write a few of them down while I still remember life B.C. (before child) . Enjoy!

1. My clothes just don't fit. everything is either too big or too small.

2.  When I get a haircut, I say "Anything as long as I can put it in a ponytail."

3.  I make crazy faces for over and hour, just to get him to smile once. I've never been so dedicated to a cause.

4. Smoking has NEVER been SO unattractive.

5. My body tempature has gone up at least 400 degrees, but I'm conviencd my baby isn't warm enough.

6. Everything miniature makes me giggle.

7. Poop is something I could have a 3-4 hour conversation about.

8. If the baby spits up on me, I think about the rest of my schedule and contemplate if it's even worth changing for.

9. Hearing about uncaring/unfit mothers or fathers infuriates me. It's so easy.

10.  Words like "boom boom" and "woogie woogie" have become a part of my everyday vocab.

11. When people ask me what I do in my free time, I laugh at them.

12. I no longer consider my breasts as sexual objects.

13. I decide carefully where and when I need to go out. Not because of the price of gas, but because of the time/luggage it takes.

14. I think, "Whatever, I have birthed a child, I can do what I want." is a ligitiamte reason.

15.  I have a much deeper appriciation for my mother and father

16. I have fallen in love with my husband, but for different reasons.  It's hard not to love someone that plays with babies.

17. I think about all the stupid things I did as a kid and I dread the future because I know it's comming.

18. The idea of grocery shopping by myself excites me and sounds like a luxury.

19. I don't remember what 8 hours of sleep feels like.

20. People stare at you. When you are holding a sleeping baby the coo and smile. When you are holding a fussy baby, they tsk at you because you can't calm them down. And you want to punch them in neck.

Time to be an adult...

I have official entered the second quarter of my life.... the big 26. Closer to 50 than last year... And yes... I do feel different.  Birthdays don't feel as exciting anymore... I was more excited that my constipated son pooped then I was my birthday (seriously.... babies scream a lot when they can't poop.) I asked my dad last year what it felt like to turn 60.  I think his response was, "The same as it felt to turn 50." Perhaps I am entering that phase of my life... where my life is marked by growing milestones then birthdays. Don't get me wrong, I still went to Cold Stone for my free ice cream. It just didn't feel as.... important.  

Andy got me a 1/2 hour whirlpool soak and a 1/2 massage for my birthday. Oh. My. God.  I have never had a professional massage before. I can see why rich people get them weekly. It was a dream. Pay the $20 bucks to go get one... Waaaaaaay better than shoes.

My first Mother's Day was something else. Until now... I never got it. I mean, I understood celebrating Mother's day... but... Mother's totally deserve it. Logan got me a Hello Kitty cordless mouse for my laoptop for Mothers day. He knew just what I wanted!! :)

Anyway.... it's time to grow up. I'm going to go take a nap. After I finish my bowl of cereal for dinner.