This kid cracks me up

We've been all about Blue's Clues in our house lately. We've even taken to pretending to look for clues around the house. Except Logan can't pronounce it correctly, so we've been looking for Jew's Clues. Lots of laughs, but I'm ready to be past the constant questioning. I think that all international spies should be mothers of toddlers, because if they got caught they'd be able to to withstand the interrogation.

I finished the Hunger Games trilogy and was kind of disappointed with the ending. I think for a YA novel I was expecting a happier ending. There were only 10 pages left in the book and the main character was still crazy. But she wrote true to life and how war might really effect someone.  The book read a lot like Lois Lowery's The Giver (also a personal favorite).  Still the ending was a real Debbie Downer.

I made roasted potatoes and sausage for dinner tonight and only set the fire alarm off once. You're welcome Husband.

The Why stage

L- "Mama! Look who I found."

K-"Whoa! It's Batman! He's so cool."

L- "What's Batman do?"

K-"Well, Batman helps save Gotham City."

L- "Oh. Why?"

K-"Because there are bad people there and he wants the city to be safe."

L- "Oh. What are bad people?"

K-"They are people who do naughty things that are against the law, like stealing."

L- "Oh. And what stealing?"

K-"When someone takes things that do not belong to them."

L- "Oh, And why?"

K-"Because they really want it. but it's naughty to steal."

L- "Oh. So Batman help steal?"

K-"What? No, he stops them from stealing. He's like a police officer, but in a mask."

L- "Oh, in case of 'mergency. If I get lost it's a 'mergency" (something we worked on before going to Seattle.)

K-"Yes, if you get lost it is an emergency, good memory."

L- "I get lost, I call Batman?"

K-"What? No, You find an adult and tell them you need help."

L- "Not Batman?"

K-"No."

L- "Why?"

K-"Uh...Hey look at this piece of tape!"

Successful distraction. Batman forgotten. Thank you Scotch tape.

Finally!

6 months of effort has finally come to fruition. My son is out of diapers and into bog boy underwear.  Oh Lord, I think that was the longest, most dedicated 6 months of my life. The things I learned:
1.  Should have taken out stock in M&M's and Thomas the Train stickers.
2. Potty training is the time when kids learn to bargain ("If I poop on the potty I get a WHOLE CANDY BAR!")
3. Pull ups are not just bigger diapers, sometimes they can be the key. They are not evil!
4. Your mom is right, one day they will just wake up and "get it". Stop stressing out!
5. Now that he is potty trained, he wants to see the inside of every bathroom in town.

I promised I wouldn't announce this to the world and to any passing stranger because I was like "Why would anyone else care that my kid can take a duce in the crapper?" But now that it's happened, I just want to sing it to the world. I can't even relay how much weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I mean, sure when they are babies you don't mind changing their diapers, but there is a definitive line where it goes from being a necessary chore, to just gross and you don't want to do it anymore. I had reached that point.  In fact, for a few weeks in there I had visions of changing my 8 year olds diaper.

And so I breathe a sigh of relief as billions of other parents have done before me.

coffeeeeeeeee

You know you a completely exhausted when you get into the shower and you still have your socks on.

Whoa....

I was at the gym tonight, trying my hardest to fight the battle of the bulge. While peddling away on the recumbent bike for 40 minutes it was all I could do to keep from staring at the front desk clerk who was eating.a.bag.of.potato.chips.

I know there is no law saying that gym employees can't enjoy a bag of crisps and I'm sure that she wasn't even thinking about her actions.. but deep down, it felt kind of rude. In a taunting kind of way.  I wrapped up my cardio and I kept asking myself why it was bothering me that she was eating chips??  Who really cares? She was  enjoying them. I fully support doing what makes you happy. And then it hit me.

I wanted potato chips.

The front desk clerk had totally Inception-ed me.

Cooking Mama

    I recently made up a chore list. It's printed out and posted on my fridge.  I know some people are probably like... You don't know how to clean yet?  No no, I know HOW to clean... I just get distracted pretty easily.  I'll be cleaning the kitchen, and I'll go into the bedroom and start taking the sheets off the bed before I realize that I wasn't done in the kitchen.  Anyway, I'm happy to say that the Kitchen has never looked better.  I still, however, need to get to the bedroom. haha.

I am interrupting the cleaning to cook dinner. I'm looking up a recipe for sirloin chops.  I have found a recent love for cooking.  During my pregnancy I had something I called "the pregnancy stupids." I was once boiling water for noodles, and it started on fire.  Seriously.... I burned water.   I also screwed up jello... my husband still thinks that is funny. Anyway, I don't know if it's the hormone shift, or if it's the realization that my son needs more nutrition than macaroni and hot dogs, but I've got to understand some basic cooking skills.  I have to stop giggling when I am reading a cook book and it says "dutch oven."  I shouldn't have to look up "how to cut an avocado"... as an adult and a mother... I should KNOW this stuff... right?  aaaahhh, well, I have a few more years to learn before Logan realizes that I'm not the world's best cook.

Please Don't Touch

Andy and I went out with Logan on two separate outings.   Both times, Logan had the same outfit on.  The outfit was a blue shirt and white pants that had airplanes on them.  AIRPLANES. Both times, Logan was mistaken for a girl.  Okay... I could see if he was wearing yellow or green with teddy bears on them, but BLUE with AIRPLANES??!  Wouldn't any reasonable person assume boy??  The lady said, "I thought he was a girl because he had such nice hair."   okay, well, then by that logic, I can assume you are an uneducated leech on society that has never seen one of those new-fangled teeth brushers.  Oh yeah, and please don't touch my child.

We went to the dog park, and this little girl, maybe 5th grade I'm guessing, just comes up and puts her filthy hands all over Logan.  She was probably letting strange dogs lick her dirty hands, playing in the mud, and then she came up and started pinching my babies cheeks, while I was holding him in my arms!!!  I just smiled and walked away, AND SHE FOLLOWED ME! Proceeding to rub her grubby hands up and down my child.  After she left, I took out my hand sanitizer and gave him a mini bath.   Later, Andy took Logan, and she came up AGAIN and started feelin' him up. Seriously... where is your mom?

Okay okay, don't get me wrong. I know that kids get dirty and that dirt and germs are part of life.  But really??? I don't know you. For all I know, you just got done scratching your butt. 

What is it that makes a strange person think it's okay to touch my child?  I thought touching young children that you didn't know was frowned upon in every state.   I smile when I see another person with a baby, or if I'm brave enough, I will go up and talk to the parent and ask how old the baby is.... but I wouldn't DARE stick my hand into a baby carrier and touch someone else's child. 

Sometimes, I feel okay with it.  Once in awhile, like at Kohl's, a little old lady will come up and let Logan hold her finger while she tells him how cute he is.  This doesn't bother me as much... Although perhaps it should... I mean, little old ladies scratch their butts too, right?
Andy says to just smile and laugh it off... It's one of those annoyances anyone with a little baby has to go through.