The eyes have it.

So I gave birth a month ago. I can’t believe that. It seems like just a few days ago (probably because of the lack of sleep).  I’ve only had one exciting moment so far, although I suspect that raising a child will bring many exciting moments.

My baby shower this weekend went very well. I can’t believe how adorable baby clothes are! So far, the thing I’ve used the most are dishwasher baskets and the diaper genie Claire gave me. (Thanks Claire!)  When I woke up that morning, I noticed Logan had a little crust in his eye. I thought nothing of it and just wiped it away with a cotton ball. At the baby shower, his eye had even more crust in it... all of the mom’s told me not to worry about it and it was just a clogged tear duct. After my shower, my mom and I went to the mall to walk around. I stopped in the bathroom to change Logan, and under the bright lights, I saw his eye was SUPER swollen! He looked like a googly eyed goldfish. I came running out of the bathroom, frantic... "Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at his eye! It’s going to fall out!"

"It’s not going to fall out, it’s just swollen, get a warm compress and put it on his eye." so I did and out of his eye came a small fountain of mucus! I freak out more.

"Settle down, we will take him to urgent care" I some how got the feeling that my mom thought I was being over dramatic.   

I think there are a few moments in life when you are allowed to act irrational. On your graduation day, when you are proposed to, on your wedding day, when you are in labor, and when you take your child to the doctor for the first time.

I zip through Madison to the urgent care before it closes. My mom tries to talk to me about other things, to calm me down... I feel like I can’t get their fast enough and I’m driving like a stunt man for Mission Impossible.  I am the person everyone is flipping off. Yellow lights now mean "hurry up or you won’t make it."

After we get to the clinic and register, we go into the doctor’s office where I have about 5 minutes to explain my entire pregnancy, labor, and Logan’s medical background (granted it’s not that long...) The doctor (who was very nice) comes it and pokes and prods EVERYWHERE except his eye.  He then tells me to hold Logan while he prys open his eye to look at it.  I can’t do it. My mom has to.  It’s then pronounced that Logan has conjunctivitis... better known as pink eye.  I feel like I’ve failed this little guy again. I stay strong while we pick up Andy, go to Walgreen’s for the eye drops, and all the way home.  I get to Andy’s house and I burst into tears. Andy thinks I’m being ridiculous (in a loving way). I’m sure Andy now frets for his son and his first day of school... first sleepover... first girlfriend... college...  Poor Andy has now confirmed he has married an emotional train wreck. Sorry babe. I know it wasn’t in the vows, but smothering my son with love isn’t something I’m willing to compromise on... except maybe at the 4 AM feeding.