I went to a funeral on Saturday... it was beautiful. The girl that passed away was only 19 years old and her brother gave this beautiful speach about how we are nothing more than ash and dirt and God breathed his breath into us, and that is where all the beauty is, and when we die, we are nothing more then dirt and ash... and God's breath, or our soul, is gone. I couldn't stop crying. He referenced her to a diamond wrapped in a dirty rag and now the dirty rag is gone and we can all see her for the beauty that is and how lucky she is because she knows now what we can't even hope to imagine. There were pink flowers and roses everywhere and the family all wore black and pink. This loss was a rather close one, and while not in my family, effected someone I consider family. He lost his sister and all I could think about was how well he was holding up and if I lost my brother or sister, I think I would need to be instatutionalized.
She died from an eating disorder, and I can't even begin to tell you how much that effects me. Somewhere in her life, someone made her feel less then what she is and she took it to heart. She believed that she wasn't good enough and she had the power to fix it. In the end, her heart couldn't take it. A lot of people were angry with her, searching for someone to blame. I wish I could shake them and say... NO! it's not her fault either, she didn't do it to herself at all. Eating disorders are addictions, no different than someone who needs to have another drink to "loosen up" and have a good time. And just like anyone with an addiction, they need the help to overcome it.
Her step-mom wants to start a fundraisier and open an eating disorder clinic in Madison in her name. I am very excited about her effort and I want to join her in spearheading this campaign. There is only one clinic in Wisconsin that treats eating disorders exclusively and it's somewhere in the Milwaukee area. Eating disorders effect so many people and there is so little research on the topic... much information is outdated and only pertains to adults (18 and older). Many adults would lie about it too because they are embaressed. I bet you know someone with an eating disorder. Not just Anorexia or Bulemia, but a Binge eater. I am willing to bet that 1 out of 10 people suffer from some type of eating /image problem. Long or short term. I'm also willing to bet that it started because some jackass made an insesnitive comment to boost their own ego.
If you happen to be one of those people that read my blog and think you have an eating issue or an image issue, I very much encourage you to talk to someone, anyone, even if it's a friend who doesn't understand. Get better. In this case, it may have saved her life.
My Declaration of Self-Esteem
by Virginia Satir
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fanatasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me - I am me and
I AM OKAY
